Over the past few months I haven't been able to really focus on anything constructive. I have been constantly distracted by the negatives in my life which are beginning to really weigh me down. Its dangerous - not just for me, but for everyone around me. Feeling the weight of the world doesn't just bring me down, but all my loved ones too. I start to neglect the people and things in my life that really matter. I loose focus on whats real. On whats happening now. I let it get in the way of my uni, my work, my relationships with others.....family......friends. Because all I have time for (or...want to have time for) is a person who is a total waste of time.
I cant allow these thoughts....this person....this situation to consume me any longer. Its a tragic waste of my precious time. Instead of being dragged further down into this ever-deepening pit of fucking chaos...instead of living in this drawn out never-ending moment...I will rise up. And learn.
I will re-focus on important things. Like my career. I need to write more. Practice things I love. Go to the gym - take care of my beautiful, healthy body. Make sure I'm listening to it and stop when it needs me to stop. I can't over work it anymore. Re-connect with friends and strengthen bonds that may have suffered over the past few months due to lack of attention and care.
I need to redirect my love into things that deserve my love. Like the people who refuse to leave my side. Or wipe away my tears, tissue after fucking tissue.
Plan my next adventure - I have the money to take me wherever I want. So whats stopping me?
These are all important things which deserve my focus. And from now on, thats what they're going to get!
Always,
A
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